01.12.2008 22:46:25 | Kelly | 0 Comments FYI hessians cannot post blogs. It's against their religion(s) which wikipedia defines as an original pressing of Napalm Death "Scum" and a Leftover Crack patch on their op shop army greens. As i have nothing relevant to impart to the world and do way less drugs than Dase, i am having him post this. It's like The Simpson's with Leonard Nimoy. Look to the skis.
"I n lieu of an actual blog, here's something for ya. I went to the museum today. I was meant to go to work but I was in the city to go to swop shop and shit and was like 'hmm...work...vs dinosaur skeletons...'. Seriously what would you choose? To ad to the whole bonus of it I had my walkman and a tape with some Khanate and Burning Witch in my car so it would've been fucking perfect. It would've been my own next-level audio tour where instead of being told about the pleosticene or plasticene or whatever the hell era I would've been like staring into the gaping mouth of imgonnafuckinkillyouasaurus and bigenoughtofuckabusodon and shit with some dude going QUIET NOWWWW, WHILE I STRIIIIP BONNNNEEEEEE, I CRAWWWWLLLL INSIDDDEEEEE MY HUMAAAAAN SHIEEEEEELLLLLLLD in my ears and shit and that would've ruled.
Notice the tense being speculative, implying a conclusion that was unfortunately not met. That's because THE FUCKING DINOSAUR EXHIBIT WAS CLOSED UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
I actually went to the melbourne museum on the day that it opened with my pezzas a couple of years ago. It was pretty rad. My old man just grumpily stalked around the place for a couple of hours going on about how it wasn't a proper museum with all this touchy-feely-interactive learning crap replacing 'bits of some ancient greek poof's pottery and big fucking skeletons'. So coming back several years later and not getting the final payoff of dinosaurs? Seriously, fuck you in the dick, melbourne museum.
And fuck this kidteractive fun learning experience bullshit. I don't want fucking light and sound displays and fucking film screenings and shit. I want actual tangible history...the problem being that biggest part of the museum is 'the melbourne story' and, that's right WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING HISTORY. There's an exhibit devoted to the cultural significance of 'neighbours'. No not the people next door who have loud fights and you kinda giggle when you hear the sound of pottery crashing and 'WELL YEAH I FUCKED YORE BEST MAN AT THE WEDDING' yelled at 2am. Not that. The fucking TV show.
Melbourne museum peeps; if I wanted the history of neighbours I would take that ever so exciting bus tour, or just go up to the Burvale hotel on thursday night and run into the douchebag who plays Lou off his face on cheap reisling again (still funny, more than a decade later). If I wanted to learn in a fun and interactive way I'd go do something fun and interactive like play a game of 'let's get baked and see what household objects are funny to put in the microwave'. If I wanted my kid to learn about history and the world around them I'd show them gory war movies, and then teach them something worthwhile, like how easy it is to survive by eating nothing but 40c packets of mee goreng for a month. Or how you tell the taxi drivers (or cops) that you live at the end of the road that dead ends at the horse paddocks so you can fuck off into the backlots of the golf course and they can't chase you.
I wouldn't take them to some re-re place that encourages you to stick yr head in a beehive (oh yeah, GREAT skill to learn, that one), or sycophanticly worships the 'story of phar lap'. What the hell is with that anyway? IT'S A HORSE. IT WON A RACE. Then you put it in a huge case and sit around partaking in some intellectual circle jerk, talking about how vicariously fucking fantabulous all of melbourne is with our fabulous history because since 1835 our pretty much most memorable thing is WE HAD A RACE AND A HORSE WON IT? Seriously for the amount of hype that stupid equine fuckwit gets you would think he cured cancer, delivered pizza to sick kids and once copped a wristie from queen victoria.
There are already places for fun learning, like scienceworks, and the dumpsters behind a shopping center. Museums shouldn't be that. Remember the old one in the middle of the city? Remember those fucking spider crabs on the walls? I had an acid-induced nightmare about one of those once when I was eleven and I've been scared of any cunt with eight legs ever since. Museums are places where we're supposed to be equal parts terrified, grossed out (some of the human dissection stuff got me there, I'll give you that) or bored. They're places where we go to look at big fuck-off stuffed animals, or culturally insensitive artifacts looted from destroyed cultures or world war battlefields. I wanted my big fucking dinosaur skeletons. I got NO big fucking dinosaur skeletons. Have a nice warm glass of stop being so fucking shit, melbourne museum and lift the game."01.12.2008 22:31:51 | Craig | 2 Comments So this is my first blog. I would like to thank the kind folk at killyourstereo.com for giving me the opportunity and the medium to put forth my views/rants on anything and everything life has to offer. God bless ya’s. So it begins… For those who don’t know me, I’m a legit Viking, son of Hannu Jonas- a noble warrior from the town of Erajarvi, Finland. I reside at ‘The Ranch’ in Berwick, SE Melbourne and get my kicks from the company of good friends, cooking BBQ’s, fine food and wine, fishing, tending to my vegetable garden, throwing down dirty disco beats, zingers, sweeping the leg, the sky, and spending time with my lovely girlfriend. Good times! I work in marketing for a prestige German automobile company whom the majority of people they employ think khaki chords are ‘in’. I also run Bengine Clothing with some buddies of mine. At the moment we are on a bit of a hiatus due to other commitments but should have some new gear out shortly. Anyways, enough of the formalities. Summer is here and I’m not going to lie, I’m stoked! In my eyes summer is pretty much one giant party. When the sun is shining everyone seems to pipe up and shit just gets loose… I fucking love it. I’ve got a feeling that this summer is going to be HUGE! So much is going on I’m starting to lose track of what I’m doing. It seems like there’s a bloody festival on pretty much every weekend, which is great (not for the wallet)… Love them or hate them, festivals bring a lot of sweet bands/artists to our shores. Throw in the thriving local scene* and you’ve got yourself a summer jam packed with live music. Get out there and enjoy it… I know I will. *To avoid confusion I’d just like to state that when I refer to the local ‘scene’ I’m not just referring to the mosh heroes playing once a month at Somerville Mechanics Hall… I’m referring to the live music scene as a whole. There’s a lot of amazing Australian music out there guys, whatever your flavour is, get behind it and check it out. In conclusion summer rules! Not only is there a plethora of live music to go and see but the party vibe picks up ten fold. This summer is going to be wild and I couldn’t be happier about it. The sun is starting to make more regular appearances and that means beers, BBQs, short shorts, and old fashioned good times… Speaking of good times here is a little list of junk I’m looking forward to in the near future- -ME 2: The Ranch- Societies finest men gather at The Ranch for deli platters, steaks, fine wine, intelligent conversation, and tales of Nordic triumph and glory. -Xmas- Nothing beats getting drunk and eating like a king with your family and close friends. -The “Straight Outta Helsinki Tour” summer 08/09- I’m picking up my new decks soon and will be throwing down dirty beats in kitchens and backyards across the suburbs throughout summer. Joining me on this tour will be a bunch of very special guests… if you’re privileged enough to make it to one of the shows you’ll be in for a treat. -Pyramid Rock Festival- New years will again be a cracker as I will once again be ruining lives at Pyramid Rock. Keen on Digitalism, Yo! Majesty, Ladyhawke, The Teenagers, The Panics, and many many more. Will probably hurl abuse at old mate from BCE as well… god bless ya little fella! -Snapper!- The snapper are on the run. Fishing is a year round activity but summer is when the countries best dressed fisherman does his finest work. Do yourself a favour kiddies and ask Santa for a fishing set-up. It will change your life. KEEN! I’d just like to say that Nicole Kidman can rack off. Get some movement in your face you tiprat! Check this out… Dead Actors Club are a pretty sweet new band out of Melbourne. Dig this if you’re into straight up rock tunes with a pinch of pop. www.myspace.com/deadactorsclub That about does it for blog number one. Next one will be a little more interesting! Until then… Sweet as babe! 20.11.2008 11:38:40 | Cam | 3 Comments So, my I-Trip died recently, which means while I wait for my new one to get delivered I'm stuck listening to the radio on my journey to and from work. I haven't listened to the radio (apart from Short, Fast, Loud and 3 Hours Of Power) in about 6 years and all I can say is HOLY SHIT, things have gotten worse. JJJ is the station of choice, simply because the drive time banter with "The Doctor" is top notch, but my god the music is fucking terrible. Indie rock needs to take its extensive collection of cardigans and fuck right off, Oz hip hop (note: not all Aussie hip hop is bad, you know what I mean, Big Day Out endorsed shit hop) is actually fucking embarassing and my god, this electro/dance/dildo parade shit makes me want to kick myself in the dick until I pass out. The only station with any tunes that are remotely decent is Gold 104, but their DJ's are a bunch of boring, middle aged cunts. WHAT A PREDICAMENT! Maybe we can petition to get "The Doctor' and his cohorts to move to Gold 104, then we'd get the best of both worlds. On to a new topic. The popularity of a genre of music moves in waves, and the good folk in my office today decided that sports metal is due for an epic comeback. THis was triggered by one of the fine people I work with telling me how fucking good Limp Bizkit were when they saw them (needless to say I was shocked). I think everyone should go and dig out their V.O.D., Fear Factory, Korn and Deftones records and re-live the glory days. While you're at it, grow a sports metal beard, they're great! If you do not know what these look like, check out the picture of Biohazard main-man Evan Seinfeld. Evan is also married to a porn star who only does girl on girl films and starred in HBO's "Oz", so the dude clearly knows what's up. Good tours over the next couple of weeks! Against No Love Lost Antagonist AD The Broderick Ellington All dates etc... can be found at www.myspace.com/destroyalllinesroster Also, summer is shaping up to be a corker, because I get to see: Misery Signals Between The Buried And Me Lupe Fiasco Dropkick Murphys N*E*R*D Until next time... 30.10.2008 23:28:05 | Cam | 7 Comments So, festival season is almost upon us, and what a summer it's shaping up to be.
First up, Parkway Drive were kind enough to tour A Day To Remember + The Acacia Strain for us, so December is going to be fucking great. Most people seem to be pretty stoked about the Boys Of Summer line up, and why wouldn't you be?! Every band (Carpathian, Comeback Kid, Verse, Against) is different and awesome in their own way so make sure you hit these shows!
Now, the Big Day Out line up is about as enjoyable as getting kicked in the dick repeatedly, however The Dropkick Murphy's have kindly informed us all that they'll be jumping board the tour, fingers crossed for sideshows!
There is a negative side affect to this massive influx of international bands though... our own homegrown talent seems to be neglected. Hell, I understand. Petrol is expensive, the cost of living is going up so shelling out $12 to see 5 Australian bands might not be as high on everyone's priority list as it used to be, but come on people! I've lost track of the amount of kids that complain about the price of seeing local bands (no more than $15), yet they'll happily shell out $120 for some shitty all over print hoodie, $300 for jeans and $200 for shoes.
News flash kids, if you don't go and see touring bands then they will not come back to your town. This very forum is littered with users complaining about tours not hitting places like Perth and Adelaide etc... so spread the word, hit the streets and help bands out and try and get more kids along to these shows. There's dozens of great bands here in our backyard, so throw your support behind them. Remember, the music that's getting churned out here is as good (if not better) than that of of your US counterparts.
Prime example, Ruiner are playing the Gold Coast next week with 4 great supports, but apparently $20 is too much? These guys have come half way across the world to play for you so if you can spare the bones get down to the Xpressive Grounds (and any other shows they're doing).
The Abandonment + Mary Jane Kelly tour started tonight so check those shows out when they hit your town.
Some great records have dropped in the last few weeks too, so if you're not already all over these, check em out:
Ruiner - I Heard These Dudes Are Assholes
Energy - Invasions Of The Mind
Crime In Stereo - Selective Wreckage
Unearth - The March
Cruel Hand - Prying Eyes
Fucked Up - The Chemistry Of Common Life
That'll do for the moment...
28.10.2008 17:51:23 | Josh | 5 Comments So once again I have been lazy and haven’t written a blog in a long time. It seems like so much stuff has happened as well. I’ll run through it in somewhat chronological order:
Finished the album: That’s right! Finally after around 12 months of writing, recording, mastering and many drinks later, we have finished our 2nd album. The album will be “Self Titled”, mainly because we couldn’t all agree on a title, but it does represent a new beginning for the band. Not only in musical direction but also because this is the first record we have all had equal input. Last time most of the record was written before Garth and Cam joined the band, however this time round we were all part of the writing process for every song! The record is still scheduled for a March 2009 release and we have just tee’d up Joe Whyte to do the illustrations for the album. We used Joe on the Pavour Nocturnus EP and he has done heaps of amazing art since then, including all the Boys Of Summer tour posters, so we are stoked that he is back on board. The final track listing for the album is as follows:
1. Addicted
2. Fighting For Our Lives
3. Armageddonouttahere (previously az16)
4. Death From Above
5. My Love
6. Coming Home
7. I Never Wanted This
8. This Is Who We Are
9. Stay With Me (previously rock ballad)
10. Miss Heartbreaker
New single out: So most of you would have heard the new single ‘Addicted’ on our myspace by now. It’ll be out via iTunes on Saturday 8th of November and it has just been added to Triple J. We are happy with the response so far, with most people having something positive to say. We realise that it is a bit different to our previous stuff but I believe it is still rocking and uncompromised. I hate hearing all those fucks that say we’ve sold out etc (I know I’ve touched on this before) cause we didn’t write this album for you or for radio or anyone else, we wrote it for ourselves. If everyone knew how much money we personal make from the band you wouldn’t be saying shit. But anyway. Enough of that.
Addicted Tour: We finally announced our first headline tour for this year. We can’t wait to get back out and play hour long sets and get to see all of our friends again. It’s been way too long but it’ll be worth the wait. If you haven’t seen the dates yet here they are:
SATURDAY 1 NOVEMBER - HA’PENNY BRIDGE, GEELONG (18+)
MONDAY 3 NOVEMBER – GERSHWIN ROOM @ ESPY HOTEL, MELBOURNE
FRIDAY 7 NOVEMBER – COOLANGATTA HOTEL, GOLD COAST (18+)
SATURDAY 8 NOVEMBER – THE RED ROOM, BRISBANE (LIC/AA)
SUNDAY 9 NOVEMBER – EMPIRE CHURCH THEATRE, TOOWOOMBA (LIC/AA)
WEDNESDAY 12 NOVEMBER – TRANSIT BAR, CANBERRA (FREE: 18+)
THURSDAY 13 NOVEMBER – CHILLI LOUNGE, WYONG (18+)
FRIDAY 14 NOVEMBER – HUNTER VALLEY BREWERY, MAITLAND (18+)
SATURDAY 15 NOVEMBER – MANNING BAR, SYDNEY (LIC/AA)
FRIDAY 21 NOVEMBER – FOWLERS LIVE, ADELAIDE (LIC/AA)
SATURDAY 22 NOVEMBER – CIVIC AND ARTS CENTRE, MILLICENT (AA)
There will be an under 18 show in Melbourne announced very soon. Also I’ve been receiving a fair few messages asking when will we be playing in Tassie and WA again and unfortunately it just can’t happen this year. It’s not because we don’t want to or that we don’t have time to, it’s that there aren’t enough venues available in November and December to meet the heavy touring demand at the moment. There is so much going on touring wise in Australia at the moment it is hard to get in anywhere!! However we will be back touring our album next year and we will be going everywhere possible!
For those of you able to come to the shows here is our setlist which we believe has something for everyone!
Shakedown
Game Of Life
Sometimes Forever Means Never
Addicted
The Bonesmen
The Art Of War
You’ve had your Chance
Fighting For Our Lives
-Secret Cover Song-
Death From Above
Empty Promises
Sorry Doesn’t Cut It
Bullets For Blood
Miss Heartbreaker
There are also a couple other surprises that you can’t miss.
Addicted film clip: So on Sunday we shot the first clip for the album. The idea was just to have a cool party clip at this abandoned mansion in St Kilda. We invited a bunch of friends down, put on a bbq and drank a whole lot of booze. As usual I may have drank a little too much but I guess that happens when you start drinking vodka at 9am and continuing through till about 8pm. I just hope I don’t look too drunk in the final cut of the clip hahah. We should have the clip up early next week providing everything goes to plan!
So I guess that is about it…..I will do some kind of tour diary thing while I’m away, but considering I am placing a drinking ban on myself it will in no way resemble Kelly’s tour diary, which is unfortunate. | 
