Band of the Week - Cross the Lips of Grace

More often than not the band of the week is a hardcore band Maddo has found by deep trawling the internet is some god forsaken nether region.  This usually leaves little time (well, finding time to be fucked writing) to expose some of the sweet Metal Bands we have in our fine country.

Cross the Lips of Grace formed in 2005 in the humid and mostly pleasant region of Queensland.  I'm always suprised to find extreme metal bands coming out of that area, as its basically super sunny and nice looking which wouldn't t appear to be an apt breeding ground for extreme music.

They released their debut album Epilogue of Suffering in April of this year, showcasing 12 brutal tracks which will appeal to fans of The Aborted and Thy Art Is Murder. Bree-free, the album is more death metal than death core and tracks are super super heavy, and are layered with thick grotesque samples taken from horror/slasher flicks.

I can imagine some crew on the forum won't be sold, but give the album a captains and it will unveil its secrets after a few listens.

Apparently they are writing for a second full length, here's hoping they don't hit that brick wall that stops Australian bands from releasing that mythical follow up release.

Suss it @ www.myspace.com/crossthelipsofgrace

Dear Diary

Greetings sexually violent droogs and welcome to this intimate look at the real Marvel.  I have decided this week to just post a few pages of my award winning diary, to give you all a no holds barred look at the man Rolling Stone Magazine dubbed “Irrelevant”.  Enjoy.

Dear Diary-

Day started off like any other.  Violent self gratification in the shower whilst weeping and applying lipstick.  All while the sweet sounds of Jessica Origliasso and that twin sister bitch of hers serenade me from my radio.  I made my way to the Dan O’Connell for my usual morning pint of crème de menthe and moved swiftly onwards to Scienceworks for my weekly visit.  I like to regularly visit Scienceworks to remind myself how shit it is and how I should never go there.  It’s a great place to view the wonders of Science with state of the art, brilliant displays filled with fun filled activities like...rolling dice to prove the laws of probability and cutting bits of paper to prove the laws of...papery cutting.  Or you could see if you can outrun Cathy Freeman...just like you could when I visited it in Grade 5.  And I still can’t... and it’s still shit.  The best part was the Hot Chips in a Bag exhibit...and when I realised that this was not a display but instead was the canteen, I resumed my previous level of disappointment (Although the chips were nice).  Of course this particular visit was different as it contained the Star Wars, Where Science meets Imagination, exhibit and like everyone else that was there, I proceeded to skip over all the educational content and head straight towards the Millennium Falcon models.  And Diary...it was fucking ace.  I would have queued for days and gone through infinite poxy, string based displays, just to see the binoculars Han used on Hoth.  It also really reminded how much I don’t give a shit about the prequels as I skipped past anything with the word Naboo on it.  Obviously the organisers felt somewhat the same, as Padme’s outfit was tucked far far away in a dark corner gathering dust and resentful remarks.  I was almost able to convince myself one weekend that I enjoyed Revenge Of The Sith...but then I realised it was because I was out of my brains on Meth and I was convinced it was an alternate reality where Mr. Lucas wasn’t an insane, deluded twat.  In the extremely overpriced Star Wars souvenir store, we came across an Obi Wan doll that resembled Mr. Lucas more than Mr. Guinness.  I then realised that I had inadvertently stumbled across George’s master plan.  To digitally insert himself into the film as Old Ben.  He must be stopped diary!  And as we have previously discussed many, many times , I’m the man to do it.

After I was all Star Wars-ed out and had finished seeing the glorious sights of sunny Spotswood, I made my way to a roller derby rink to watch...CHICKS BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER IN SHORT SHORTS!!!  Now as you well know diary, I like to present myself in a pretentious, dignified manner... But no one can resist the allure of chicks...on skates...beating the fuck outta each other.  I decided to support the Reservoir Dolls over The Dead Ringer Rosies.  Not only because of the Tarantino reference, but because I enjoyed the leashed antics of a certain player by the name of Foxy Terrier.   It was actually a pretty entertaining game when I figured out the rules and the atmosphere and theatrics were perfectly complimented by the fact that it had a bar.  The Dolls won apparently, but by the end I was so plastered my interest could only be held by a hot dog fused with bacon bits.  It was also a great place to meet women...but not those kinds of women. 
http://www.myspace.com/melbournegrindgirls

Also, great bands think alike, as the band I enjoy sucking up to the most at the moment (Kill The Matador) were there.  Diary, you should check these guys out as they are fucking amazing live and obviously they are not adverse to chicks beating the fuck out of each other on skates.
http://www.myspace.com/letskillthematador

After that diary...I went and got merry at the Dan again and was surprised to find out that I was another year older.  Shit eh.

And as usual diary...Jessica still hasn’t replied to my emails.  She just doesn’t seem to care that I have been sending her two emails everyday for four years.  How could she hurt someone who loves her so much?  All I have ever wanted is a tiny sample of her hair and I think the fact that I sent her a package filled with every single hair on my body, more than makes it fair trade.  I’m sure she has now realised by the pictures I have sent, that I have taken to carving her name into my flesh for every day I receive no reply.  I am starting to run out of space seeing as Origliasso is not the friendliest, length wise surname and for a dedicated carver to resort to just cutting in her initials seems, well...just plain silly.  But still, I long for her touch and I will love her until the day I die.  I bet she hasn’t even bothered to pass these messages onto her sister like I asked. 

Well, I must go Diary as I have to go meet uncle McDermott for a birthday dinner.  I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did to me and I can’t even look at an umbrella handle without gagging.

So until next time diary,

Goodnight.

P.s:  I also met my favourite newsreader Mal Walden the other week.  I told him that he was, in fact, my fave, whilst I was in a rather drunken stupor.  He didn’t seem overly impressed.  Didn’t get to ask him whether he thinks he would win in an oiled wrestle between him and Peter Hitchener.  Next time diary...next time.

 

Rrrrrrrrraacing!

It has been some time since my last foray into the realms of the KYS blog. To be totally honest not much has been happening in the land of the Viking. You know how it is… work and stuff. Spring is well and truly here and I’m pretty stoked about it. The garden is in full bloom and my veggie crop is starting to produce the goods. Love it! This time of year is also great because the spring racing carnival kicks off. I’m lucky enough through my job to have a little bit to do with horse racing and getting down to the track is one of my favorite things to do (members or corporate of course). The spring carnival is amazing and it’s not only the beautiful creatures running around the track that make it great, it’s all the other things that come along with it-  fine food, wine, fashion, and entertainment all come together and make this time of year one of the best. With a bit of luck you might be able to buy yourself some money while you’re at it. Nothing like backing a few winners in spring. It’s a great time to be in Melbourne and if you love a good day out then I recommend you go get amongst it.

Speaking of the Spring Carnival… I was down at Caulfield for the BMW Caulfield Cup last weekend and I couldn’t believe how many bogans were out and about.  Guys- bright coloured novelty suits and top hats aren’t funny and make you look like a cock. Wearing the latest billabong shirt under a cheap ill-fitting suit from man-to-man also doesn’t do you any favors. Skate shoes or chucks and a studded belt just don’t cut it with a suit either. I mean yeah you’re punk rock and stuck in the 90s, but we can already tell you’re all about the anarchy by the big fucking holes in your ears and the thing hanging out of your nose. Sort yourself out lads, it’s not hard. Girls- getting shitfaced and stumbling around carrying your shoes in your hand while your friend tries to stuff your left tit back into your dress is not appealing you stupid tart. Hold yourself together for fucks sake! Ease up on the fake tan too… nothing wrong with applying a bit of the old bondi bronze but there is a line. Don’t cross it. I think it’s safe to say that the general admission areas of race tracks during spring carnival attract a bevy of tiprats and bogans. It’s the sport of kings, what happened to having a bit of dignity? Bloody plebs.

On the music front I haven’t really been listening to anything new and noteworthy of late. Calvin Harris released a ripper new record a month or so ago and that’s been getting a heavy work-out on the stereo. Pretty much album of the year in my opinion. My good pals The Duvtons recently released their debut album. If you’re punk as fuck like me then you will froth on it. Not going to lie I actually don't mind this record. Check them out if you get a chance, word has it they’ll be opening proceedings for good old Guttermouth when they head out to oz later this year. You beauty. My relationship with Marvel has flourished since he got a decent haircut.

Summer is almost here so every bastard has gone out and organised a festival. Take your pick, there’s one for pretty much every flavor. Nothing has really got me on the festival front this year. Someone needs to bring out Bruce Springsteen (Cam Chambers, sort this out mate). Alas, I will probably head along to Pyramid for new years and there’s a fair chance I’ll cut rug and party at stereosonic and the big day out too. Good times!

Anyways that’s all I’ve got time for. FYI- Barry Hall will be the difference next year. Go dogs.

I need a holiday.

Until next time… God bless ya!

Weekly news round-up: 16th October

It's been a mega week for news.

We heard new music from Throwdown, Cartel, 50 Lions and Converge.
 

Stacks of new videos from Rancid, Cartel, Bring Me The Horizon, Atreyu, Alexisonfire and Enter Shikari.
 

On the tour front, the long awaited second Soundwave 2010 lineup was announced, Future Music 2010 was also announced and in the wake of Megarampage fiasco the Wu Tang Clan announced two shows and The Offspring cancelled their scheduled side shows.
 

Supports for the Cobra Starship tour were announced, Suicidal Tendancies are heading our way and so are Polar Bear Club.
 

Aaaaaand what you have all been waiting for, THE GOSSIP NEWS...

Miley Cyrus rapped about leaving Twitter (OH THE HUMANITY), Ozzy gets his drivers license, the All That Remains frontman had a war of words with Shadows Fall, Green Day the musical got shit canned, Katy Perry wants her new boyfriend Russell BLAND to meet her parents, Fall Out Boy are taking a break, the Spice Girls talk about a reunion and Blink 182 confirmed they will be recording a new album.
 

That's it for this week!
 

Stay classy San Diego.
 

-KYS

Weekly Nostalgia: Saves the Day - Stay What You Are

In this case, I'd post a picture of Luke Cripps looking his absolute best at last years Alkaline Trio/Saves the Day/Rival Schools/The Subways sideshow in Melbourne, but unfortunately, that picture has been lost forever. In his own words, albeit alcohol fuelled and hilarious; "I want to look my best for Chris (Conley), I'm going to tell him how much I love him and how he should kick the rest of Saves the Day out and It'd just be me and him".

Wise words, Cripps. Even if Conley just looked at you like a Deer in the Headlights and walked off.

But anyway, Stay Where You Are resonates something special with me, being one of the bands I made the journey for last year, seeing them live was incredible. Starting off with At Your Funeral, my all time favourite song by Saves the Day, the crowd erupted, lighters were shining, arms over shoulders and a lovely couple to my left tounging eachothers intestines.
 

Some Saves the Day fans see Stay What You Are as selling out (up the punx), being slightly more poppy and mellow that their previous release, but fuck 'em. This record got me into Saves the Day, and I've loved everything ever since. Fuck, they even have a couple of GlassJAw members.

There's not really much to be said about Stay What You Are, it's a perfect blend of radio friendly rock, razor sharp (hello typical phrase used in most review-like blogs) lyrics and amazing music.
 

In short, I'm drinking a beer, the sun is setting and i'm blaring Stay What You Are. Perfect.