Latest Blogs
Awful gloriousness in the time of scurvy
Greetings and welcome to my first post swine flu blog. Yes folks, it seems my previous blog tempted the fates and delivered me a heavy case of pig related sniffles. It was average, but I did get a swine flu mask for my troubles and have been pretending to be Scorpion from Mortal Kombat all week long (Get over hereee)! Anyway the other week we played a strange, hazy, pig sniffly show with all round good lads Backyard Surgeons. It was a strange show for as soon as I got on stage I realised how ill I actually was. I remember feeling very dizzy on stage, looking up at the ceiling and forgetting what I was doing while I was up there. It's testament to how drunk I usually get on stage that people couldn't tell the difference between this and a un-swine filled show. After the show I met up with a fellow Kys blogger who was wearing a large horned helm and carrying a large sword that he called Fjorvasfi. We then sailed the dark and distant shores with a large fluffy headed man at the wheel, until we reach the strange lands that time forgot (Belgrave). In this dark, hemp smelling town we searched for entertainment and boy howdy...did we ever get it. In the form of The Hypnotic Crew: The whitest Hip Hop act of all time. It was glorious in its awfulness but in the end, it was one of the most entertaining things I have ever seen. And that's what it's all about isn’t it? Entertainment. All image and hype removed, these guys were fucking entertaining. For all the wrong reasons obviously, but still entertaining. And I have seen dick loads of competent, even talented acts, that have provoked far less of a reaction than The Hypnotic crew. This leads nicely to my love of awful music. After being bombarded constantly with all the wank and pretentious shitness of being a musician, its nice when you find something you genuinely love that clearly has no ulterior motive. You know that when you find a Chicago song that you love, it is solely based on the pleasant reaction to the sound. You don't love a Chicago song so you can buy a t-shirt that you think will help you get laid. You don't love a Chicago song to appear like a well rounded lover of all types of music. You don’t love a Chicago song so you can claim ownership of the band to your mates because you “found” them first. You just, for some bizarre, unexplainable reason, can't stop singing “If you leave me nowww...” and you love them for it. So I decided to enter my Top Ten Songs That I Fucking Love But Most People Think Are Just Plain God Awful, into the Triple J Hottest 100 of all time. So in no particular order...
Shakespeares Sister - Stay
You gotta love it when the evil chick cracks in. And when the guy wakes from his coma in the video clip...not a dry eye in 1992. Were they as good as Dickens Daughters though? Only time will tell.
King of Wishful Thinking - Go West
If this song doesn't increase your happiness levels then you have no soul whatsoever and water turns to ice as you pass it by. I also love how the horns in this song sound like they burst into the room unexpectedly.
Tatu - Not Gonna Get Us
They fucking rule. Will go toe to toe with any cunt that differs!
Hall and Oates - Rich Girl
All that shit above aside...I would wear a Hall and Oates t-shirt. Wonder what Oates is up to nowadays...gonna go with crack.
The Moody Blues- I Know You're Out There Somewhere.
Great song for listening to on the train as you stare dramatically at the passing scenery.
Mark Knopfler - What it is
As above.
Dolly Parton - Jolene
This is probably not the most uncool pic on some kitsch, indie level, but god damn... I would seriously put this in my favourite songs of all time.I bet that Jolene chick was smoking.
Jerry Reed - East Bound & Down
Jerry Reed passed away not too long ago and it was a rough week in the Marvel camp. A truly great guitarist who taught Chet Atkins everything he knows (About the Guitar that is... he didn't teach him calculus or anything) This song is country rockin at its finest and Me First And The Gimme Gimmes fucking butchered it. Don't change the songs around Me First. Play it how it is!
Bee Gees - This Is Just Where I Came In
I love people that can truly harmonize. Interesting side note...My dad thinks Barry Gibb looks like a lion.
Chicago - Hard To Say I'm Sorry
Will make love to anything during this song. So watch out if played in audio range of me.
I know that as soon as I put this blog up I'm gonna remember another nugget awful gloriousness... but for now I'll leave it at that.
Fuck Paul McDermott, Cheers, Marvel.
TAGS:
Go The Bogan... Goooooo!
Thought I would just drop a quick blog entry whilst sipping a Gin and Cranberry juice on a lazy Sunday evening. Don’t worry, she’ll be short and sweet. The weekend has been swell. I’m moving house soon so most of it has been spent buying bits and pieces I need including a new bed and plasma TV. Went out for dinner last night with some good friends to a fantastic restaurant called Pan Asian on Chapel Street. If you’re not a pleb and love good modern asian cuisine and decent wine then best you check this place out. The pork cheek is to die for! I also witnessed the greatest gap to ever walk the earth. Love a good gap. You little beauty!
Anyway the main reason for this blog… I just entered my top 10 songs for the Triple J hottest 100 of all time. It’s a tough ask to narrow it down to 10 songs and I’ve been sitting on my shortlist of about 30 for a week or so. Anyway here is what I came up with in no particular order-
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds- Straight To You.
One of the greatest love ballards ever written in a way only Nick Cave could.
Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Television- Marquee Moon.
NWA- Express yourself.
Another song from my youth. Such a cool beat.
You Am I- Rumble.
Outkast- Hey Ya!
What a brilliant song. If you don’t like this track, you don’t like music. It’s got it all. The song reminds me of my uni days and working at Jetty Surf, dancing on the counters and junk. It’s just got such a party vibe.
AC/DC- Whole Lotta Rosie.
Michael Jackson- Smooth Criminal.
I remember seeing the video for this track as a kid and going wow! It just makes me wanna cut rug.
Amazing.
Bjork- Hyperballard.
I really don’t know what to say about it. Brilliant piece of music.
Bruce Springsteen- Atlantic City.
The Boss is a guru and this is probably my favorite track of his. It’s just so raw.
Anyway that is all. Hope everyone had a ripper weekend. Carn’ the doggies! Until next time…
God bless ya!
TAGS:
The Music Industry
As cliché and tacky as it may seem, music is an art form. It is no less of an art form than Michelangelo’s flaccid cock, or Mona Lisa’s lazy eye. Music is the espousing of something with no rational existence, something that was produced simply because someone felt it should be. I say this with a tear in my idealistic eye, for there has been no other art form in history that has been systematically raped by commercialism like music… however, there is still hope… I think.
I have been 100% disconnected from mainstream music for several years now – it makes me angry when I see the 100K marketing scheme bleeding from the artists who have been promised a true escapist dream. It makes me angry when I hear the watered down, irrelevant dribble that is pouring from the festering cunt of major record labels worldwide. Opinions aside, I think that most people would agree that the mainstream music industry leaves a lot to be desired. The internet is around for good, yet they refuse to adapt, instead opting to try and sue and attack the internet into extinction… an attitude that is as unsurprising as it is retarded, considering the very nature of human beings to understand, exploit and erase.
I was reading someone’s blog the other day and they made an important point. In essence, they said that if the mainstream music industry could burn its history of rape and pillage, get rid of the tailored suits, get rid of the talentless pop-stars, and exist as another art industry, it could be one of the biggest success stories of the internet. Anyone who really cares about their art doesn’t care about making the front cover of Rolling Stone, hitting number one on the charts, going platinum—blah blah blah. I know that for myself and my band, we write music that we wish someone else was releasing, so we could listen to it. Most people who write music for honest reasons feel exactly the same.
To bring you all back to my wildly outrageous notion that music is an art form, I want to talk about a comparison I heard the other day between music and paintings. In the same way we can buy a postcard or a print of a painting we like for a few bucks, we have to make a real effort to go and see the artwork in real life. I believe true music fans understand that absolutely nothing compares to seeing, hearing, and experiencing something for real. It is something they will always pay for. It’s a sweeping statement to say that we should just give away our music and simply tour, but I believe that there needs to be a re-evaluation of the system in which the mainstream music industry operates. Any lame idiot (like myself) can look at record sales of particular bands and know that that is not an apt reflection of the bands pulling power at shows. It happens time and time again. It’s why more shows are added to tours; it’s why the same venue has the same show on several times. People ARE downloading music, people will ALWAYS be downloading music—but people know they just can’t download the experience of a live show.
The world needs its pop stars; hell, I use to be obsessed with the Backstreet Boys to the point where I could control my very dreams. In the dreams I would get their autographs somewhere on my body, then wake up and in a frantic hurry I would try to find them… fucked, hey? But my point is that no amount of Backstreet Boys CDs could give me what I wanted. They couldn’t let me meet the bOyZ: they couldn’t supply me with the experience I desired.
Let’s not forget this as the music industry approaches the fork in the road it’s been trying to avoid for the last 50 years. The choice must be made whether to adapt or be destroyed. We have to forget about CD sales, forget about the hopeless cunts at JB-HIFI who won’t get your CD on shelves in time, stop whinging that “the kids” ain’t being honest and buying your CD. Focus on touring, focus on your live show, focus on your music, focus on being relevant! The money for bands these days is made playing shows; everyone who is in a band knows that anyway.
We need to earn money. Without it, we can’t play shows, we can’t release albums, we can’t survive as a band. But money is a means to an end. Though we need it to play music, we should never play music for the money. As members of a relatively unspoiled scene, it’s still within our power to maintain the distinction between music and profit, art and finance. When the two are confused, it’s always the music that suffers. It’s the trap that our mainstream counterparts have fallen into. We can’t afford to make the same mistake.
p.s. here's my room mate sporting some gnarly snot.
TAGS:
Hey Lame'o, Get outta my yard!
Well we’ve pretty much hit the half way mark of 2009. A lot of shit has gone down in what’s been a quick 6 months. It has been a good year so far in the Viking camp and the outlook is bright for the second half. Winter is well and truly here and in my humble opinion it can kindly collect its hat and coat, and rack off. I enjoy winter for one reason only… snow. If I’m up at the snow (hoping to get up there in a few weeks) then it’s all good times, winter is the best! But if I’m just trundling along doing my thing in the burbs (The Burbs is one of the greatest movies ever made) of Melbourne then quite frankly, winter can suck a colossal wang. Give me summer any day. Anyway apologies in advance… pretty sure this blog is going to be a bit of a novel.
One of the big stories in the press of late has been the bashing of Indian students in Australia. This kind of made me sick and picked at one of my pet hates- racism. I’m a pretty strong believer that racism has no place in society, particularly in such a culturally diverse country like Australia. I’m sick and tired of seeing these xenophobic fucks parading around telling everyone to “fuck off we’re full!” thinking that it’s cool to beat down some dude because he’s from a foreign country. Check your family tree you cocks, if you’re not indigenous to this country then technically you’re just a fucking tourist, like the majority of us. Without skilled foreign workers, Australia wouldn’t be what it is today. For example- if it wasn’t for skilled foreigners, half our hospitals wouldn’t have some of the worlds best doctors. What would one of these jokers do if they smashed their XR8 ute into a pole and ended up in an emergency ward and the doctors/surgeons on duty were Indians? I bet they’re not going to tell them to fuck off because their country is full. If it wasn’t for this countries diverse range of cultures we wouldn’t be living in one of the greatest places on earth, so rich in diversity. It’s a big problem and a lot people need to wake up… it’s bloody disgusting.
Not long ago I realised that this actually happens more than what I once thought. I met a bloke (he was collecting empties) whilst tapping in beers at the Belgium Beer Garden. He was from Nepal and studying here in Australia. We got talking for a while (I tend to bail up randoms after a few jars) and he was telling me how he’s really struggling here and can’t believe how racist this country is. I was a bit dumbfounded by this. I tried telling him that not all Australians are racist but he said it’s just got to a point now where he doesn’t want to associate with us ‘Aussies’ in fear of being racially abused. I ended up sitting this bloke down and after a long chat (he got a bit emotional) and a few hugs I managed to kind of restore this lads faith in the country. He said he came here for a better life, a chance at a decent education, a good career, and to contribute to our society, but no- some rednecks who probably couldn’t even finish high school and spends every second thursday at centrelink, sees fit that because this guy doesn’t conform to what they see as Australian, they should beat the shit out of him and tell him to leave their country. Well as far as I’m concerned, old mate from Nepal has got more to give this place than these jokers do… In my eyes he’s more Australian than they’ll ever be.
A good friend of mine, The Mayor of Point Cook- Mr. Cameron Chambers gave us a list of his top releases for 2009 so far in one of his recent blogs. I figured I might also drop a short list of my favorite releases so far. I can assure you, it’s going to look a little different to The Mayors. I could go on for a while but I’ll keep it short.
N.A.S.A- The Spirit of Apollo.
Closure In Moscow- First Temple.
Royksopp- Junior.
Fishing trip planning.
iPhone update coming up.
TAGS:
Movie Of The Week - Roadhouse
So, I thought I'd do something a little different for the next few weeks and focus on some of the cinematic greats of yesteryear rather than upcoming bands (coz you all seem to be talking about them already anyway).
First up, we're going to discuss the 1989 classic, Roadhouse. Starring Patrick Swayze and the down to fuck Kelly Lynch, Roadhouse is a tale of a hardened cooler (that means head bouncer kids) named Dalton. Dalton basically knows how to fuck shit up. Think you've got him cornered coz you've got a knife and he doesn't? No worries, he'll spin kick you in the face, finish your coffee (he doesn't drink) and then pump your girlfriend.
Here's the run down.
Dalton gets called to sort out a shitty bar in the middle of bum fuck no where. The town hard arse/business kingpin/head fuckwit isn't into the idea and tries to lay the smack down, but like all great action hits, we know that the good guy will prevail, while leaving a trail of death and destruction along the way.
This movie retails for $6.95 so I suggest you splash out and buy this one instead of downloading it. You'll also have some change for the pokies when you're done.
There's something here for the guys and gals, as there's a bevy of naked women running around and old mate Swayze takes a naked stroll through the moonlight in the film's mid-section.
Oh yeah, keep an ear out for the line, "I used to fuck guys like you in prison".
Peace
TAGS: