Soundwave: superior. Constructicons: inferior.

Greetings fellow members of the legion of doom and welcome to one of my shorter rants.  Just a quick one today to comment on my favourite Decepticon.... Soundwave.   Soundwave was a Decepticon Communications Officer that lived to serve Megatron with complete loyalty and no ambitions of usurping him (Unlike that shifty Starscream...the saucy little bitch).  His alternate mode was that of a Microcasette player that stored Decepticon spy cassettes.  These included Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Rumble (My personal favourite), Frenzy, Slugfest, Overkill, Squawktalk, and Beastbox.  In the generation 1 series of transformers he was voiced by the legendary Frank Welker whose voice was heavily modulated to achieve Soundwave's distinctive, metallic monotone.  In the latest film, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Soundwave was repeatedly beaten and raped by a large slug like creature called Mr. Bay.  Gone was his legendary Boombox form that we all loved and replaced by a large boring satellite that did nothing but hover above earth for that entire film all while two disgusting racial stereotypes called Skids and Mudflap ate up all his screen time with their gold teeth, monkey built proportions and inability to fucking read!  In a recent study Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School it was officially declared that anyone who liked Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen could qualify for a Disabled Living Allowance as they are clearly fucking retarded.

But fortunately for Soundwave he regained some credibility by having a festival named after him....a festival where A Wilhelm Scream play....and I’m fucking stoked.  They’ll most likely do a sideshow that doesn’t involve Decepticons but if you truly love the ol Boombox you will get down there and show support as “Cries and screams are music to his ears”, (That was an extremely nerdy obscure Transformers quote for all of you playing at home).  Festival wise though, it has been a long time since I have considered going to one of these things in Oz as it usually means I end up sitting through The Living End for the nine billionth time.  But I’m excited to be excited for this as it reminds me of my carefree youthful, festival days where I would desperately try to sneak booze through the gates (Sigh...it used to be so much easier.  I recommend the Ice vest full of Margarita.  Works for me).  Most of all, (As previously stated) I am excited for the return of the A Wilhelm Scream.  The last time I saw them they blew my proverbial socks off and I am looking forward to being naked in the foot department once more.  And as much as it may destroy some of my street cred...I (cough)...would maybe...kinda...like to see...My Chemical Romance....  Ahh fuck ya all!!!  I liked the Black Parade but that could be all the shameless Queen-ness to it...and also as Cam said...bring on the pyro.   Also seeing as my brothers from Hertfordshire (Gallows) have decided not to do the side show thing, I will have to see if that angry ginger bastard can project his anger over a large sea of Decepticon loving festival fans.  And I’m sure they will.  I might follow the sea of black leather to see the heaviness of Meshuggah as well.

But for me...that’s about it.  I have seen Reel Big Fish twice before and thought they were fucking rubbish.  I would have loved to have seen Faith No More when I was 14 but now...couldn’t give a shit.  Janes Addiction can get fucked.  Escape the Fate can get mega fucked.  And Paramore can suck it...take that whatever way you want.

So hope to see you there...I’ll be the drunk guy in a Decepticons t-shirt singing Wilhelm.

Live like a legend and die like an asshole.

Fuck Paul McDermott

Marvel